There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
