i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
