Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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My penis needs a shock collar
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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