I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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