We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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