Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
