so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
