were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize