Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize