woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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