so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
