if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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