Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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