Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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