you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
