cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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