His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?