You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
