you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
