He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
