Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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