Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
