Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
