you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
