i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
