your parents love me but you hate me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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