Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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