So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
high people should be assigned attendants
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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