You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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