My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
