Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
