i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
