I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't deserve a penis
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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