i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
