Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
