Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
