If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it hurts more in the daytime
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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