why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
