I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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