I heard we made out
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
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After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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