Slut skills are useful in every country.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
