so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My hand turned me down
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
