i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your cock deserves a montage
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I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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