I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
