dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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