she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
