Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
