Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
