You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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