i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
