Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
