I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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