she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
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Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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