I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
